Author: girltransparent

My name is Cecilee and I'm an alcoholic. I'm also a student, sister, daughter, leader and friend. I wear lots of hats, but none of them fit until I put on the honesty hat. Many alcoholics hate letting the disease define them, but I'm nothing without it. This is a place where I'm gonna let it all out and chat about how I CHOOSE to let it define me WITHOUT expecting excuses.


Sobriety is uncomfortable. It’s a change. Change is hard. Difficult things yield discomfort. But, here’s my problem, nobody says anything about ANTICIPATING that discomfort. Can I get an amen? And THAT, that is when I want to hop, skip and jump over that change and forfeit any growth. I had to start with some subtle changes. Ya know, some not-so-scary-ones that I, as an irresponsible and very sick human, could handle.



I just remember hearing a voice in my head say “You could just tell them the truth.” I stayed trapped in my mind for the next few hours. I got up and searched for a beer or a bottle of wine, or anything to cure the shakes. Do I come clean? Do I lie again? WHAT CAN I TELL THEM?! It was all a matter of choice here. I clearly had no problem coming up with the right words to manipulate my way through this. But, did I have the energy? I didn’t…



Shaky Hands

The first time I prepared to tell this story, I was so nervous. As I took the mic and walked up to the stage, I noticed my shaky hands. Then, my nerves disappeared and I got grateful REAL quick. I was grateful that my hands were shaky because I was about to share my testimony, and NOT because I was still lost in the bottle…